Would you like a belt with those fries?

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I was writing a story last night and decided to take a break and watch CSI: Miami and have something to eat. Twenty minutes before the show started, I grabbed a few dollars and headed to the McDonald’s close to my hotel in Anaheim. Seems pretty harmless doesn’t it?

After I ordered my food in the packed restaurant, I noticed a draft—a rather uncomfortable draft considering the restaurant was full of people coming back from their day at Disney and probably didn’t want to see a grown man with his zipper down.

There was no way I could very cooly reach down and zip up, so I pulled my shirt down as best I could and figured I could take care of it when I got outside. That would have worked perfectly except for the bag of food and large coke occupying both of my hands. No problem, I was at the register closest to the door and could sneak out into the darkness of Southern California unnoticed.

Ah, but there was another problem. As I walked out of McDonald’s and briskly across the parking lot, a group of three families were walking down the sidewalk. Despite my best efforts to beat them to the corner, I didn’t and ended up behind them in a very well lit section of the sidewalk. I calmly placed the bag of food in front of me, saving anyone noticing my open zipper.

It’s at this moment I noticed something else.

While in the room working I had taken off my belt. My new pants, being a little big started to sag unformatably. So what do you do? Let your pants fall down? Pull up your zipper? Run screaming like some lunatic?

No, I just walked funny with a thumb in my belt loop, a bag of McDonald’s food over my zipper and cursed my craving for some fries.

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